Chelveston the Comedy Penguin sat down with a really big rock that’s probably over a billion years old.
Chelveston: What’s it like being a billion years old and being witness to so much history?
rock:
Chelveston: With all that wisdom, do you have words of encouragement given our current political environment?
rock:
Chelveston: So stoic, so regal. You’re on the front lines of nature. Any thoughts on Global Climate Change?
rock:
Chelveston: Hmm, any final thoughts you wish to share with our readers?
rock: (telepathically - Dude, I don’t have a mouth, or any means to express myself verbally, and I definitely do not approve of you translating my telepathic messages into print. Go away.)
Chelveston: quack quack quack, quack
rock: (telepathically - What did you call me, you son-of-a-…?)
Chelveston: (telepathically - You heard me blockhead! You rocks are all alike, you just sit there, year in, year out, not lifting a goddam pebble to help a duck out. I got mouths to feed, did ya ever think of that? Moron.)
rock: (telepathically - Me a moron? I’m not the one with wings who just waddled like ten miles over rugged terrain to interview a rock! Dipshit.)
Chelveston: (telepathically - They’re non-functional wings, dipshit, so I’m basically a rock with stubby legs, which is more than I can say about you!)
rock: (telepathically - Touche’. Perhaps I should re-examine my life choices.)
Chelveston: What’s it like being a billion years old and being witness to so much history?
rock:
Chelveston: With all that wisdom, do you have words of encouragement given our current political environment?
rock:
Chelveston: So stoic, so regal. You’re on the front lines of nature. Any thoughts on Global Climate Change?
rock:
Chelveston: Hmm, any final thoughts you wish to share with our readers?
rock: (telepathically - Dude, I don’t have a mouth, or any means to express myself verbally, and I definitely do not approve of you translating my telepathic messages into print. Go away.)
Chelveston: quack quack quack, quack
rock: (telepathically - What did you call me, you son-of-a-…?)
Chelveston: (telepathically - You heard me blockhead! You rocks are all alike, you just sit there, year in, year out, not lifting a goddam pebble to help a duck out. I got mouths to feed, did ya ever think of that? Moron.)
rock: (telepathically - Me a moron? I’m not the one with wings who just waddled like ten miles over rugged terrain to interview a rock! Dipshit.)
Chelveston: (telepathically - They’re non-functional wings, dipshit, so I’m basically a rock with stubby legs, which is more than I can say about you!)
rock: (telepathically - Touche’. Perhaps I should re-examine my life choices.)
